Self-control over speech

During meditation, our consciousness gains contact with the Superconscient realms and becomes filled with calmness and power.  This power acquired through meditation must be retained as much as possible in order to successfully transform our consciousness.  The power dissipates into the external world if we engage in fruitless conversation.   Therefore, economy of speech is a sine qua non for success on the spiritual path.   These are some  observations on the talking habit distilled from the advice that Sri Aurobindo gave to his disciples (see the Volume – Letters on Yoga, Transformation of the Physical).

In order to understand the problem, one must first make an inventory of our personality to isolate the speech which is necessary from useless talk.  These are some of the things we indulge in:

1. Talking without reflection: Loose conversation often becomes the habit.  We may reflexively crack jokes and make petty remarks to bring levity to the situation.  This is always a mistake.  The aim of Yoga is to speak from reticence and from the Highest Consciousness.
2. Desire to gossip :  For instance, “He is like this; she is like that”.    One may notice that this evokes a feeling of joy but these joys are small and short-lived.  What we must aim for is the  calmness and wideness which comes from living in the Light.
3. Talking in order to unburden strong emotions:  When we are overwhelmed by sudden joy, anger or sadness, we immediately want to share it with someone.  This is a sign of a weakness because our vital (life-force) is unable to hold powerful emotions and direct them as appropriate.  The body consciousness has to be become like a dam over a mighty river which holds the flow and releases the waters only when necessary.
4. Love of talking/Desire to avoid loneliness: We enjoy conversation because during talking, there is an exchange of vital energy (at the region of the heart) and this energy exchange evokes a feeling of joy and fullness in life.   Talking can also be an escape from loneliness or a desire for security.
5. Thinking after the conversation:  We may have the habit of thinking about the conversation after talking.  (“Did I say the right thing?  Oh, I  should have said this when he said that!”)  This needless reflection, according to Sri Aurobindo, is the working of the physical mind. (the physical mind is that part of us which is tied up in perpetuating our little habits.  See Constitution)
6. Use of foul language: Foul language brings a feeling of empowerment and a release from the stress and frustrations of life.  However, we seldom realize that every foul word which leaves our mouth strengthens the negative habits in our subconscious and these habits prove hard to overcome  later on.
7. Ranting :  A clear mind and calm heart is often lacking amongst people in the world.   Most often, what we find is some slip into irrationality which gives rise to the general habit of criticism − mostly ignorant criticism of others − mixed with all sorts of imaginations, inferences, exaggerations, false interpretations, even gross inventions.

Sri Aurobindo said that absolute silence (mauna) and looseness of talk are two extremes which can be avoided.  What is required is moderation and awareness of speech so as to gain control over the habit of talking.  Control over speech can be gained by developing the state of witness-consciousness as described in this post -  (How to cultivat the state of Witness-consciousness).  One of the things I found useful was to center the awareness on the throat and upper chest region during meditations since this is the region from which all speech issues.  During early stages of meditation, this area feels heavy but later on, it begins to feel lighter as our consciousness becomes purified and the talking habits of the personality start to dissolve.

In a letter to a disciple, Sri Aurobindo outlined the psychic self-control that is desirable for those on the spiritual path :

1. Not to allow the impulse of speech to assert itself too much or say anything without reflection, but to speak always with a conscious control and only what is necessary and helpful.
2. To avoid all debate, dispute or too animated discussion and simply say what has to be said and leave it there.  There should also be no insistence that you are right and the others wrong, but what is said should only be thrown in as a contribution to the consideration of the truth of the matter.
3. To keep the tone of speech and the wording very quiet and calm and uninsistent.
4. Not to mind at all if others are heated and dispute, but remain quiet and undisturbed and yourself speak only what can help things to be smooth again.
5. If there is gossip about others and harsh criticism (especially about sadhaks/spiritual aspirants), not to join − for these things are helpful in no way and only lower the consciousness from its higher level.
6. To avoid all that would hurt or wound others.

All these problems of needless talking are subsumed when we reach Self-realization because then our words begin to emerge from deepest reticence and the richest silence as outlined in the article on Para Vak.

SEE ALSO:  Mother on Austerity of Speech.