Category Archives: relationships

To Love Man (Manush Bhajan) by Nolini Kanta Gupta

This is an English translation of a Bengali article entitled “Manush Bhajan” by Nolini Kanta Gupta (1889-1984) who was a disciple of Sri Aurobindo (see bio on wikipedia).    Sri Aurobindo once remarked, “If Nolini does not understand my Yoga, who does”.  The translation of this article was done by Satadal and originally published by Maya Chattopadhyay of the “Sri Aurobindo Sthan” in Kolkata.

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Reconciling Family life with Yoga

Time magazine in Jan, 1950 called it the “Revolt of a doormat” (alternate link).   Nandini Mehta, wife of Bombay textile millionaire Bhagvandas Mehta and mother of three children went to court asking for legal separation.  She had become a disciple of Jiddu Krishnamurti and aspired to live a celibate life but her husband would not permit her to do so.  After an acrimonious court battle, she eventually separated from her husband but was unable to gain custody of her children (1).  She devoted the rest of her life to running an orphanage Bal Anand (i.e. “joy of children”; it still exists; see a report).

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What exactly is a “crush” or “love at first sight”?

What exactly is this singular phenomenon called the “crush” or “love at first sight” during which the breath quickens, the cheeks become flushed, the voice quivers, and the heart continues pounding without respite?  People often assume that a “crush” is an instinct originating irrefutably from the soul/psychic but according to the Mother Mirra Alfassa, it is just another example of an irrational vital process.   The region from the throat to the heart tends to be buoyant and vulnerable to certain physical images giving rise to these fads we denote as a “crush“.

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How to choose the right life partner

A disciple, Dilip Kumar Roy, wrote a letter in 1924 to Sri Aurobindo asking certain questions regarding marriage.  The answer depends on many factors, as Sri Aurobindo indicates in the following text.  He outlines the three kinds of bonds which usually form in a marital union: (a) vital or physical, (b) psychic and (c) spiritual.  His insights must be read with the understanding that no cut and dried answers can be given to such intricate questions.

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The foundation of spiritual relationships

As long as we base our relationships on mundane issues such as the need for space, need for recognition, need for affection and so on, our life remains a compromise and an accommodation with others.   As long as we favour creature comforts such as the desire to make (more and more) money, to travel, to chat, to eat well, etc., we stagnate with people who live an aimless life.  Two egos bound together will remain two egos if the principles by which they live are not changed.  It is only those who are united in their aspiration to live to the highest ideals who can grow psychologically and spiritually through life.  Therefore, the best way to have happy relationships is to organize one’s life around high ideals and find someone who wishes to live up to those  same ideals.   Undoubtedly, there will still be conflicts but these will have to be resolved in favour of high ideals rather than personal predilections.   There is no right answer here.  Life has to be lived to discover the Truth.   These are some observations by the Mother Mirra Alfassa on this topic, which are worth reflecting upon.

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Twin souls

Sri Aurobindo and the Mother Mirra Alfassa were twin souls.  They made explicit statements and also dropped plenty of hints as to the essential unity of their consciousness.   He wrote that the “supreme state of human love…is the unity of one soul in two bodies” [Sri Aurobindo, The Synthesis of Yoga – I: The Release from the Ego].   This post collects some of the material on twin souls.

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Four stages of human love

The world is crooked(vrjina), says the Rig Veda, because every Divine vibration becomes distorted and debased in Man.  Our outer personality is cut off from the Light and as a result, our worldly ego distorts every movement of Truth into an act of Falsehood.   For example, the vibration of Love becomes disfigured into possession and hatred while the vibration of Delight gets distorted into overeating of food, desire for cheap thrills and other perversions.    Continue reading