What exactly is a “crush” or “love at first sight”?

What exactly is this singular phenomenon called the “crush” or “love at first sight” during which the breath quickens, the cheeks become flushed, the voice quivers, and the heart continues pounding without respite?  People often assume that a “crush” is an instinct originating irrefutably from the soul/psychic but according to the Mother Mirra Alfassa, it is just another example of an irrational vital process.   The region from the throat to the heart tends to be buoyant and vulnerable to certain physical images giving rise to these fads we denote as a “crush“.

Before we get to the answer, we need to define two terms –  the “vital” and the “psychic” – which have been employed.

The “vital” is the impulsive, energetic aspect of our personality.  It forever craves for novelty and revolts against any sort of discipline and drudgery.  It is largely shaped by our upbringing in some family and culture.  Our choices of favourite movie, favourite food, favourite song, and so on are often decided by this capricious “vital”.  From a yogic perspective, the pervasive influence of the “vital” can be felt from the throat center down to the navel center.

The second term is the “psychic“.  After you have sufficiently advanced on the spiritual path, you begin to sense an inexhaustible reservoir of bliss which had existed eternally in the fathomless depths of the heart.  From this reservoir, you begin to occasionally receive a gentle perception or voice which guides you towards the course of action suitable to the circumstances at hand.  It is akin to the oracle or sign that used to guide Socrates ever since he was a child (“…it always forbids but never commands me to do anything which I am going to do” – Socrates in the Apology by Plato).

 “Was that cannon fire, or is it my heart pounding?” from the movie Casablanca

“Was that cannon fire, or is it my heart pounding?” from the movie Casablanca

Question: Why does one feel attracted at first sight to some people and feel a repulsion for others?

Mother Mirra Alfassa: Usually this is based on vital affinities, nothing else. There are vital vibrations which harmonise and vital vibrations which don’t. It is usually this, nothing else. It is vital chemistry.

One would have to be in a much deeper and more clear-sighted consciousness for it to be otherwise. There is an inner perception based on a psychic consciousness, which makes you feel which people have the same aspiration, the same aim, and can be your companions on the way; and this perception also makes you clear-sighted about those who follow a very different way or carry in them forces which are hostile to you and may harm you in your development. But to attain such a perception one must oneself be exclusively occupied with one’s own spiritual progress and integral realisation. Now, that is not often the case. And usually too, when one has attained this inner clear-sightedness, it is not expressed by attraction and repulsion, but by a very “objective” knowledge, it might be said, and a kind of inner certainty which makes you act calmly and reasonably, and without attractions and repulsions.

Therefore, it may be said in a general and almost absolute way that those who have very definite and impulsive likes and dislikes live in a vital consciousness. Mixed with this, there may be mental affinities; that is, some minds like to have relationships in common activities, but here too, these are people on a much higher level intellectually, and this is also expressed even more by a comparative ease in relationships and by something much more calm and detached. One takes pleasure in speaking with certain people, for others there is no attraction, one gains nothing from it. It is a little more distant and quiet; it belongs more to the field of reason. But likes and dislikes clearly belong to the vital world. Well, there is a vital chemistry just as there is physical chemistry: there are bodies which repel each other and others which attract; there are substances which combine and others which explode, and it is like that. There are some vital vibrations which harmonise, and harmonise to such an extent that ninety-nine times out of a hundred these sympathies are taken for what men call love, and suddenly people feel, “Oh! he is the one I was waiting for”, “Oh! she is the one I was seeking!” (laughing), and they rush towards each other, till they find out that it was something very superficial and that these things can’t last. There. So the first advice given to those who want to do yoga: “Rise above likes and dislikes.” This is something without any deeper reality and it can at the very least lead you into difficulties which are at times quite hard to overcome. You can ruin your life with these things. And the best thing is not to take any notice of them – to draw back a little into yourself and ask yourself why – it’s nothing very mysterious – you like to meet this person, don’t like to meet that one.

But, as I say, there comes a moment when one is exclusively occupied with one’s sadhana(askesis), when one can feel – but both more subtly and much more quietly – that a particular contact is favourable to sadhana and another harmful. But that always takes a much more “detached” form, so to say, and often it even contradicts the so-called attractions and repulsions of the vital; very often it has nothing to do with them.

So, the best thing is to look at all that from a little distance and to lecture yourself a little on the futility of these things.

Obviously there are some natures which are almost fundamentally bad, beings who are born wicked and love to do harm; and logically, if one is quite natural, not perverted, natural as animals are – for from this point of view they are far superior to men; perversion begins with humanity – then one keeps out of the way, as one would stand aside from something  fundamentally harmful. But happily these cases are not very frequent; what one meets in life are usually very mixed natures where there is a kind of balance, so to say, between the good and the bad, and one may expect to have both good and bad relations. There is no reason to feel any deep dislike, for, as one is quite mixed oneself (laughing), like meets like!

It is also said that some people are like vampires, and when they come near a person they spontaneously suck up his vitality and energy, and that one should beware of them as of a very serious danger. But that also…Not that it doesn’t exist, but it is not very frequent, and certainly not so total that one need run away when one meets such a person.

So, essentially, if one wants to develop spiritually, the first thing to do is to overcome one’s dislikes…and one’s likes. Look at all that with a smile.

(Collected Works of the Mother, vol. 9, pp 178-180)

In a certain sense we are nothing but a complex mass of mental, nervous and physical habits held together by a few ruling ideas, desires and associations – an amalgam of many small self-repeating forces with a few major vibrations. By the age of eighteen we are set, one might say, with our major vibrations established. Then the deposits of the same perpetual thing with a thousand different faces we call culture or “our” self will ceaselessly settle around this primary structure in ever thicker layers, increasingly refined and polished. We are in fact shut in a construction, which may be like lead, without even a small opening, or as graceful as a minaret; but whether in a granite skin or a glass statue, we are nonetheless confined, forever buzzing and repetitive. The first task of yoga is to breathe freely, to shatter that mental screen, which allows only one type of vibration to get through, in order to discover the multicolored infinity of vibrations; that is, the world and people as they really are, and another “self” within ourselves, whose worth is beyond any mental appreciation.

(Satprem.  Adventures of Consciousness, Chapter 4)

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  7. Sublimating the sexual urge through Yoga
  8. The transmutation of sexual energy
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35 thoughts on “What exactly is a “crush” or “love at first sight”?

  1. Samir

    The first task of yoga is to breathe freely, to shatter that mental screen …

    Oh how difficult it seems sometimes! You think you have at last expelled one small vital habit, and then you relax for the briefest moment, and lo, it arises again with redoubled strength, and the effort seems to have come to nought.

    Reply
    1. Sandeep Post author

      You have an evocative poem on your site on the same topic, Samir.

      To My Heart

      Be still, my heart.
      Let go this tortured yearning
      For precious moments that fate has stolen away.
      Discard these self-made prison gates:
      Irretrievable pasts, impossible futures,
      Useless thorns on some chimeric rose.

      Be still, and search the silent depths within
      Where lies the hidden truth of things:
      Eternity’s mystic symphony wrought
      From Time’s confounded jarring chords,
      Heaven’s secret purpose veiled
      In Earth’s desperate broken fairytale.

      http://rayofsolaris.net/poems/to_my_heart

      Reply
  2. Sandeep Post author

    Love at first sight is just sex and ego, study says – Guardian newspaper

    According to new research, romance has very little do to with it. That “look” is all about sex and ego.

    “It does seem to be a sort of narcissistic thing. People are attracted to people who are attracted to them,” said Ben Jones in the Face Research Laboratory at the University of Aberdeen.

    “It’s really a very basic effect that we are all, at some level at least, aware of – which is that if you smile at people and you maintain eye contact, it makes you more attractive.”

    He said the work challenges most previous studies of facial attractiveness that have focused on physical characteristics, such as a preference for symmetrical faces or masculine versus feminine features.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2007/nov/07/1

    Reply
  3. mike

    Yes, it’s interesting. I’ve read on a lot of so-called twinsoul or soulmate forums where people just assume that feeling an immediate attraction to someone, has to be a SOUL connection. It’s laughable really, because it’s blatantly obvious [ at least to someone who has studied SA and Mother ] that it’s mostly vital or physical chemistry.
    Having said that, there are some who seem to be having a Psychic experience, from some of the thongs they describe. Quite a lot seem to be getting spontaneous kundalini awakenings [ which doesn’t necessarily mean it’s psychic in nature ], so it can be a bit difficult to determine the difference sometimes.

    Reply
  4. mike

    In the above l mean’t that some of these ppl suddenly bump into someone and they immediately start having out-of-this-world experiences that they’ve never had with anyone before. I’ve actually read these stories in many places. This might relate to Sri Aurobindo’s early talks about The meeting of Two Psychic Beings.
    There must be certain experiences that would enable us to know the difference.

    Reply
  5. ipi

    “Love is like some fresh spring, first stream and then a river, changing its aspect and its nature as its flows to plunge itself in some boundless ocean, where restricted natures only find monotomy , but where great souls are engulfed in endless contemplation”.

    -Honore De Balzac.(French Novelist.)

    Reply
  6. ipi

    Question: (Regarding love) How can one direct this human love towards the ideal love, the true love?

    Mother: There is only one true love — it is the Divine Love; all other loves are diminutions, limitations and deformations of that Love. Even the love of the bhakta for his God is a diminution and often is tainted by egoism. But as one tends quite naturally to become like what one loves, the bhakta, if he is sincere, begins to become like the Divine whom he adores, and thus his love becomes purer and purer. To adore the Divine in the one whom one loves has often been suggested as a solution, but unless one’s heart and thought are very pure, it can lead to deplorable abasements. It would seem that in your situation, the best solution would be to use your mutual attachment to unite your efforts in a common and combined aspiration to attain the Divine, and in perfect sincerity to let each bring to the other, as far as possible, what the other needs to attain that goal.

    (Collected Works of the Mother, vol. 16, p 298 10 June 1964)

    Reply
  7. mike

    This quote seems to be all over the internet, but l’m not sure what it meams exactly.
    “The supreme state of human love is the unity of one soul within two bodies.” Sri Aurobindo
    It has to be a reference to the unison of two Psychic Beings, surely.
    “To adore the Divine in the one whom one loves has often been suggested as a solution, but unless one’s heart and thought are very pure, it can lead to deplorable abasements”

    l believe that’s very true. l’ve seen it on so-called Twins-Soul/Soulmate forums, where people think they’ve met their True Twinsoul etc. Even if it is, they tend to debase it, as The Mother says, with all sorts of romantic or sexual notions. Some have even coined the phrase ‘Sacred Sexuality’ to justify their desires. lt’s truely a great deception, l think, although l could be wrong.

    “It would seem that in your situation, the best solution would be to use your mutual attachment to unite your efforts in a common and combined aspiration to attain the Divine, and in perfect sincerity to let each bring to the other, as far as possible, what the other needs to attain that goal.”

    l’ve always seen it like that, but is the Mother referring to the meeting of Twinsouls. l know that even if it is a Twinsoul, the ego can still drag them down, unless the Two Psychic Beings are very strong, like Sri Aurobindo says.
    lt all depends on how evolved the Psychic Being is, l think. Sri Aurobindo says that the sadhana is greatly helped by meeting our Twinsoul [progress will go 10x faster apparently]. lt’s difficult to know for sure, but l think when the Mother’s refers to ‘mutual attachments’ in the above statement it’s a ference to ordinary vital attachments. l believe if it’s a genuine Twinsoul connection, then the aspiration for the Divine will be strong in both parties.

    Reply
    1. Sandeep Post author


      Mike: This quote seems to be all over the internet, but l’m not sure what it meams exactly.
      “The supreme state of human love is the unity of one soul within two bodies.”

      The quote actually originates in the Synthesis of Yoga. See the chapter entitled “Release from the Ego”

      In that larger play of the Divine the joy of the relations of divine love also is possible without the lapse into the ego-sense, – just as the supreme state of human love likewise is described as the unity of one soul in two bodies.

      Reply
  8. mike

    Thanks Sandeep.
    It all adds up. Twinsouls can only begin to work together after a ‘Release from the Ego’. Makes perfect sense to me.
    I’m assuming ‘release fromEgo’ would mean a state of Realisation at some level?

    Reply
  9. mike

    l think this CRUSH business usually refers to ppl of a certain age-group. From what l’ve seen this group is predominantly teenagers. l suppose it can happen at any age, but not much in the older age-group, l think
    One thing is strange, though. l’ve never seen anything by The Mother on Twinsouls, wheras Sri Aurobindo has said quite a bit. The Mother might have discussed the union of Two Psychic beings somewhere but l can’t remember. l find it strange because SA says it’s very important to have the Female Shakti [and l imagine for the sadhika as well] for the integral completion of the Yoga. l suppose it probably comes in later, when the both disciples have advanced on the path.
    He say’s here how imp[ortant the Twinsoul meeting is for progress:

    “How do you know a spiritual experience? How do you know when you have the right leader? It is all a matter of feeling and inner perception. It is an art and not a science.WHEN SHE WALKS INTO YOUR LIFE YOU WILL KNOW HER RIGHT ENOUGH. As I have told you again and again, no rigid and hard and fast rule is possible in things like this. Union with woman is right in one case and perhaps wrong in other 99 cases. In that one case again without his Shakti the man’s progress will be very slow and he may even go wrong.”
    Even though this was said nearly a hundred years ago l still think it holds true, and shows how rare this bond is, even today, and how important [just look at the last line of His statement about going slow]. Of course, people might be waking up faster these days.
    The Mother has only seemed to mention the lower vital contacts, but if what SA said in bold above is true, the meeting of one’s Shakti or Twinsoul must be a powerful experience, and must bring with it unusual Spiritual Experiences. Has Mother ever commented on this???

    Reply
  10. Sandeep Post author

    MIke: Has Mother ever commented on this???

    Not that I am aware of but I will keep my eyes open for a reference

    Reply
  11. ipi

    For those who wish to lead the spiritual life, the Divine must always come first, everything else must be secondary.

    Sri Aurobindo
    (Letters on Yoga, Page: 1677)

    Reply
  12. mike

    Very true IPI and l appreciate the reminder, but if l can repeat this again:

    ” without his Shakti the man’s progress will be very slow and he may even go wrong.”

    If l’m right then ‘realising the Divine’ will be much quicker with less chance of things going wrong.
    Or perhaps l’m misreading the Master’s words.
    Of course, He also says we have to earn the right to meet the Shakti.

    Reply
  13. mike

    I just remembered something the Mother said.
    I believe people used to bring jewelry to Her to be blessed and in the case of rings She would ask them which of their fingers to put it on.
    I think it was the french photograher who took most of their pictures -Bresson l think.
    Bresson said he wanted it on the ring finger and Mother said OH! That one, that means a Mystic Marriage. What was She referring to ,some joining of souls??

    Reply
    1. ipi

      To this i want to say Mother married twice and realized something.She is divine her intention of marrying was divine plan and its not the same for others.

      from http://www.lifepositive.com/spirit/masters/sri-aurobindo/georges-van-vrekhem.asp
      Question: Were all the meetings silent?

      Georges van Vrekhem: Once, she wished me on my birthday. The other time was when I had taken a ring to her. You see, you took a ring to her and she would put it on your finger. I, very naturally, extended the ring finger of my left hand. She was surprised and said: “On that finger?” Afterwards, she told her son, whom I knew rather well, that it symbolized “a mystical marriage”.

      Reply
  14. ipi

    I got some info on twin soul from a site. The summary in that site was that in certain lives they do not bond as their full development is not done individually, only when a full development is done they do otherwise the intensity of relationship will be more difficult to handle. Seemed like if individually if they are spiritually stable and more balanced, then they contribute spiritually small or big not for personal purpose. Also in previous life they have shared lives as brother sister or as friend.

    Reply
  15. mike

    Yes ipi, thanks for finding that. I knew She said it about someone.
    As for the marriage thing, this is not what l’m talking about in connection with a Shakti or Twinsoul. I’m actually referring to a Spiritual Partnership at a certain stage in the sadhana; which l believe Sri Aurobindo is indicating. It has nothong at all to do with ordinary relationships.

    Reply
  16. mike

    Ipi., i think you might have been referring to the ‘mystic marriage’ thing. Perhaps G van Vrekhem’s Psychic Being got married to the Mother somehow.These things are beyond me, but obviously a spiritual marriage is not the same as an earthly one.

    Reply
  17. ipi

    Love Bytes by John R. Buri, Ph.D.

    Do you believe in love at first sight?

    Approximately 60% of Americans do. And over 50% say they have experienced it.

    Now what does a person really see at first sight?

    The answer can be found in the process whereby the vast majority of Americans screen for potential partners. It is a 2-step screening process.

    In Step 1, there is a scan of the environment and all people deemed as “unsuitable” are quickly checked out and summarily passed over. Obviously, a very important screening criterion in our culture is physical attractiveness. So during this first step, the unattractive are deemed unsuitable and are coolly (coldly?) eliminated from further consideration. They essentially become invisible.

    Step 2. Those in the environment who have not been eliminated in Step 1 are now scanned more carefully. The most suitable — those judged most attractive — are then selected for further attention and possible selection.

    Read more @
    http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-bytes/201002/love-first-sight

    Reply
    1. Sandeep

      Its quite long. I read some of it….the first passage reads

      “The Higher Reality taught by Jesus is in direct conflict with the pseudo-marriages which are little more than government licensed sex or hook-ups which man has attempted to redefine as marriage. From a higher spiritual perspective, Jesus warned that if a man looks at another woman with lust, then no Marriage exists. If a woman dresses or acts in a provocative manner in order to attract the energies or attention of men other than her husband, then no Marriage exists. The man or woman may have a certificate of secular ordained and licensed sex — from a legal perspective they may have a secular ordained hook-up — but that is the extent of the union. The requirements that Jesus set forth with respect to Marriage, has virtually nothing in common with the marriages ordained by man. “

      The scriptures tend to contain idealistic assertions on how life should be lived in accordance with the Divine Law and the misfortunes which might befall one who disobeys the hoary injunctions. Such remarks, even when they are true, often engender fear among the lay-people and create a backlash against traditional religion.

      One has to accommodate the reality that all human beings in the world are born imperfect, partly due to the inadequate past-life development and partly due to the salacious cultural influences which they absorb after birth. It is impossible to expect people to start living by the scriptural standards immediately. What they need is some psychological advice on how to observe their failings and progressively transcend their weaknesses. That is what the methods developed within the system of Yoga offer (self-awareness, witness consciousness, Mantra chanting, breath control, meditation on chakra centers, etc).

      I guess that is the striking contrast between spirituality and religion : the former stresses psychology and the latter emphasizes scriptural consistency.

      Reply
  18. Ron

    Thank you for your response.
    Yes the whole page is very long but when you have the time, if you like, it explains the different levels.The Three-fold process of birth.
    I was careless in not pointing out that his writings are on different levels to the more advanced seekers on one level and also to those who are just beginning to awaken.
    .
    All scriptures have been corrupted in one form or another and that the True teacher resides inside.

    Reply
    1. Sandeep Post author

      You also made a tiny spelling mistake (“Ebonite” instead of “Ebionite”) which confused me 🙂

      Are you conversant with the austerities that the ancient Ebionites practiced (besides fasting and vegetarianism)?

      Reply
      1. Ron

        Yes, indeed I did spell it wrong. Haste makes waste. lol
        Most of what you will find on the internet that attempts to describe them will be written
        that they were heretics. For they did not adhere to the scriptures in the legalistic manner Torah law, but in the inner(hidden)Spiritual manner in which it was meant. For that matter the present day doctrines of the church would have little to none in common with what was taught by the Ebionites.
        They did write or follow the Gospel of the Nazirenes(original spelling) and took the Vow of the Nazirenes. Taught the transmigration of the Soul over many lifetimes.

        One of the most important teachings and concepts of
        the New Covenant is contained in the 90th chapter of the
        “http://gospel.nazirene.org”Gospel of the Nazirenes
        “Be faithful to the light you have, till
        a higher light is given to you. Seek more light, and you will have abundantly;
        rest not, until you find. God gives you all truth, as a ladder with many steps,
        for the salvation and perfection of the soul, and the truth which seems today,
        you will abandon for the higher truth tomorrow. Press toward perfection.

        “the early church writer Hippolytus tells us“They live conformably to the customs of the
        Jews, alleging that they are justified according to the law, and saying that
        Jesus was justified by fulfilling the law. And therefore it was, (according to
        the Ebionaeans,) that (the Savior) was named (the) Christ of God and Jesus,
        since not one of the rest (of mankind) had observed completely the law. For if
        even any other had fulfilled the commandments (contained) in the law, he would
        have been that Christ. And the (Ebionaeans allege) that they themselves also,
        when in like manner they fulfill (the law), are able to become Christs; for they
        assert that our Lord Himself was a man in a like sense with all the rest of the
        human family(Hippolytus; The
        Refutation of All Heresies, Bk 7, Ch 22, Doctrine of the Ebionaeans).
        Yeshua became One with the indwelling aspect of God known as the Logos/Son of
        God, by overcoming the Laws of division, and the inner barrier-levels of being”.
        http://ebionite.com/EbioniteDenial.htm

      2. Sandeep Post author

        Taught the transmigration of the Soul over many lifetimes.

        Interesting. I have never had the time and opportunity to look into all the sects which existed during the intersection between Judaism and early Christianity.

        Is it really true that the Gospel of the Nazirenes, written in Aramaic, was found in a Tibetan monastery? It’s hard to find reliable material on the subject. Apart from a bunch of possibly unreliable websites, I came across one book The Isaiah Effect by Gregg Braden which says so.

        Some of the Biblical legends may have their origin in Sumerian literature, as per the work of Assyriologist Samuel Kramer. Apparently, Kramer traced the reason why Eve originated, of all places, from Adam’s rib to some Sumerian legend

        Now the Sumerian word for “rib” is ti (pronounced “tee”). The goddess created for the healing of Enki’s rib, therefore was called in Sumerian Nin-ti, “the lady of the rib.” But the very same Sumerian word ti also means “to make live.” The name Nin-ti may thus mean “the lady who makes live,” as well as “the lady of the rib.” In Sumerian literature, therefore, “the lady of the rib” came to be identified with “the lady who makes live” through what might be termed a play on words. (Kramer, Mythologies 103)

        Text from here).

        Here is another page which enumerates the parallels between Sumerian and Biblical myths.

      3. Ron

        Here is a link to a explanation on that particular Gospel.
        .http://gospel.nazirene.org/gospel_intro.htm
        The following quote might be of some interest also.

        “thus, the more complete interaction with Nicodemus is presented in the 37th Chapter: “Yeshua sat in the porch of the temple, and some came to learn His doctrine, and one said to Him, Master, what do you teach concerning life? And He said to them, Blessed are they who suffer many experiences, for they will be made perfect through suffering; they will be as the angels of God in heaven and will die no more. Neither will they be born any more, for death and birth have no more dominion over them. They who have suffered and have overcome will be made pillars of the temple of my God, and they will go out no more. I say to you, except you be born again of water and of fire, you cannot see the kingdom of God.”
        “What did the scriptures of TheWay look like before they underwent a massive editing and re-write by the Church of Rome? Did you know that the followers of Yeshua (Jesus) did not believe he was God? Did you know that the beliefs of the people of TheWay parallels those of Jewish Mysticism? They believed in the pre-existent soul that evolves to perfection over the course of many lives. They embraced the concept that the Fifth Commandment that states: Thou Shalt Not Kill, is applicable to not only all people, but also the animal kingdom which is portrayed as our lesser brothers. The followers of Yeshua were Torah Observant — but not in the manner of the Sadducees and Pharisees whose carnal blindness caused them to see only the literal written word of the Torah — but rather, they were Torah Observant on all three levels of being (physical, soul and spirit — see The Law). In fact, it will come as a shock to most Jews and Christians today once they begin to realize that Yeshua did not condemn the Sadducees and Pharisees for any other reason than they sought only to fulfill the Torah physically, and failed to be Torah Observant in soul/mind and spirit. Moreover, the Gospel of the Nazirenes demonstrates that the sin of the historical Judas was seen in the fact that he attempted to bring about the conditions where Yeshua would fulfill the Messianic prophesies and inaugurate the Kingdom upon the earth — failing to realize that the Kingdom can never come upon the earth, because it is within us (Luke 17:20-21). Thus, the sin of Judas is exactly the same as the sin of the majority of Jews and Christians today who look for the
        physical coming.
        Messiah to come in the world, rather than within them.”

  19. ipi

    Marriage has Greatest Scope for Personal Growth – by Roy Posner

    Marriage and related deep relationships offers the greatest scope for personal growth, as things invariably move into contradictions between the parties, which each side can grow out of by overcoming their corresponding limitations of attitude, consciousness, and capacity. Then we see that the apparent contradiction was really a complementarity when viewed from a higher perspective. (2009-2011 Q1)


    From Human to Higher Love
    The lower vital attraction is known as love. The higher emotions for another are only nervous energy generated by one’s circumstances by one’s values. The spark of the soul never enters human love except as an exception. Entering as an exception, that spark elevates any of these sensations or emotions to great heights for a while and allows them to be destroyed. When destroyed the lovers become martyrs. When not destroyed they become husband and wife relating to each other through their characters. Love is not for this earth except as a spark that destroys after a short elevation. Is then there no love on earth? There is. It must begin inside, not for a person but for The Person. And then that can be impersonally given to any person. The impersonal Love is the love which refuses to become personal unless a person agrees to receive it impersonally. Still that impersonal Love can go out from a person to another person if the Being in the Becoming emerges in both. That personal relation will certainly be impersonal in its personal essence. (MSS)

    True Love
    Mostly what people seek is not real love but to be loved. We want someone to accept and embrace us for what we are, regardless of what we are. But true love does not come from wanting to receive it. It comes from wanting to give it. Only those who have that capacity are ready for true love. And they ALWAYS get the right person or circumstance for their love to grow in purity and intensity and to feel the joyous fulfillment of that love. (MSS)


    Love vs. Marriage
    You have made a valid and essential distinction between love and marriage. Love is a psychological condition of deep emotional attraction to another person. Marriage is a social arrangement which may or may not be supported by shared emotion. The two are often confused but distinctly difference. Love can lead to marriage, in which case it often disappears. Marriage can and often does exist without love, but in rare instances can mature into a deep abiding love. Friendship, familiarity, acceptance of the other person, enjoying their company, security, sense of belonging come through marriage, but none of them are essential or sufficient for love. (MSS)

    On the Nature of the Psychic Being (i.e. the personal evolving soul)
    If you are in contact with your psychic being [your personal evolving soul], you begin to feel, to have a kind of perception of what divine Love can be. (The Mother)

    source:
    http://www.gurusoftware.com/gurunet/knowledgebase/personal/Love.htm

    Reply
  20. Sandeep Post author

    Buddha and the Sculptor

    How the Buddha helped someone overcome infatuation for his beautiful wife

    A disciple of Buddha had a friend, Rahul, who was so much infatuated with his young and beautiful wife that he was interested nothing else in life other than his wife. The disciple thought that if he can take his friend to Buddha, the great Master may be able to cure him of his infatuation. So he persuaded his rather reluctant friend to meet his Master. One day Rahul met the Master. Buddha regarded Rahul with His calm, compassionate eyes:

    “What do you do for a living, young man?”

    “I am a sculptor.”

    Then Buddha tried to initiate Rahul into His noble and lofty teaching. But Rahul was unimpressed and showed no interest. He told the Master frankly that he is not interested in all this religious stuff. Buddha asked

    “Then what else are you interested in, Rahul?”

    “My wife, there is nothing in the world which is more beautiful and interesting than my wife.”

    “Is she so beautiful?”

    “Oh! Yes, like an Apsara.”

    Buddha said smilingly, “But I can show you real Apsaras, Rahul,” and touched him. The young sculptor went into a trance and his inner being was transported to a heavenly world of Apsaras. Rahul saw innumerable heavenly nymphs of unearthly beauty. Buddha brought Rahul back to this world and asked him:

    Read more @ http://integralmusings.wordpress.com/2011/11/03/buddha-and-the-sculptor/

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